Forever
by jessa-beth
Summary: ONESHOT: A tiny bit of the Battle at Hogwarts from Tonks' perspective as she searches frantically for Remus throughout the crumbling castle. DH SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY.


**A/N:** The battle at Hogwarts-- or, a tiny bit of it-- from Tonks' perspective. I am CLEARLY not JKR, and would not have written this if I was, but I am sorry I had to use some dialogue directly from Deathly Hallows, which I LOVED, by the way. This fic is to help me deal with my grief. **DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED DEATHLY HALLOWS**.

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"Ginny, do you know where Remus is?" Her voice was desperate and high-pitched as she crawled through the opening at the end of the passage that led to the Room of Requirement. "Please…" 

"Tonks," the redheaded girl squealed nervously, "What are you doing here? What about Teddy?"

Tonks's heart swelled. "He's okay," she assured her. "He's with my mum." She sadly recalled leaving her son: clutching his tiny hands, feeling them caress her shaking palm and fold around her pinky. She drew in a breath of slight anxiety for the tiny baby that lay in his crib at her mother's house. She remembered his little laugh, his tiny giggles of enjoyment as his father held him. She allowed a small smile to cross her face as she gathered herself together to ask her again: "Where's Remus? Do you know if he's alright?"

Before Ginny was able to answer, another person stumbled into the room behind Tonks.

"Mrs. Longbottom!" Tonks exclaimed. "What are—?"

"Excuse me, dear, but where is Neville?"

"And Remus," Tonks added. "Where is he?"

"I don't—" said Ginny, just as Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran in.

Mrs. Longbottom turned to them immediately. "Ah, Potter," she said quickly and pointedly, "You can tell us what's going on."

"Is everyone okay?" Tonks piped up, echoed by Ginny.

Tonks clung to Harry's every word as he told them that as far as they knew, they were all okay. "Are there still people in the passage to the Hog's Head?" He asked.

Mrs. Longbottom told him: "I was the last to come through. I sealed it, I think it unwise to leave it open now Aberforth has left his pub. Have you seen my grandson?"

"He's fighting."

"Naturally. Excuse me, I must go assist him."

She hurried off, and Harry turned to Tonks then. She opened her mouth to ask him where Remus might be, but he spoke first. "I thought you were supposed to be with Teddy at your mother's?" he asked her.

"I couldn't stand not knowing. She'll look after him. Have you seen Remus?" Her words were broken and choked with terror.

"He was planning to lead a group of fighters into the grounds—"

It was all she needed. She ran as fast as she knew her legs could go, up the concealed stone staircase, and into the corridor above. Her heart was pounding. Was Remus alive? The image of his calming smile warmed her, and she ran as fast as she could through the quaking building to reach the grounds. "Remus!" she cried frantically as she ran, "Remus!"

She sped to the closest window and scanned the group of fighters below for a sight of Remus. He wasn't there. Where could he be? Her blood ran cold in her veins as terrible possibilities passed through her brain. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't be. She adjusted her wand in her hand nervously as Ginny approached her. "Tonks," she panted, staring through the window over her shoulder. She squinted through one of the broken panes at the awkward looking giant who had joined the confused crowd.

"Let's hope he steps on some of them!" came Ron's voice.

"As long as it's not any of our lot," called Ginny as she suddenly shot a jinx through the window at a group of Death Eaters. Tonks was feeling more and more light-headed as the thought of Remus crept into her mind, making her throat close up, and sweat trickle down the back of her neck.

She turned from the window feeling sick, and saw Aberforth leading a group of students. He was shouting something, but she barely listened. "Have you seen Remus?" she called to him.

"He was dueling Dolohov," he shouted. Her entire body tightened as she held her breath in terror. "Haven't seen him since!"

She whimpered lightly, and made to take off. Ginny was telling her kindly she was sure Remus would be okay, but she didn't respond. She ran after Aberforth, her knees shaking in her anxiety. It hurt to move, but she had to: she had to find Remus. Even with fear stinging in her every joint, she ran hard and fast in the general direction Aberforth pointed her to as they parted ways a few floors down. "Remus!" she continued to call. "Remus! Where are you? Remus!"

A violent explosion deafened her, and something heavy knocked her over. A wall of the castle was coming down, and pieces were flying at her. She flung herself to the floor as chunks of brick almost crushed her. She covered her head, protecting herself. As the commotion died, she lifted her head. Her arms were now caked in rubble, and she coughed as dust became her source of air. "Remus," she choked. "Remus, please, where are you?" She got to her feet, her ankle paining her slightly as she ran on it. She ignored the cramp, however, and ran further still, toward the grounds. She could hear loud blasts from all angles, all punctuated with heart-wrenching screams. "Remus, please," she moaned to herself. "Please be alright!"

Quite suddenly, she knew where she was. She had reached the Great Hall. Fred Weasley was struggling to suppress several Death Eaters from entering the building, and he winked at her as she passed him, his face still full of life and seemingly permanent amusement. She prayed for his life and for the lives of everyone else around them as she hurdled by him and his quarry to make her way to the grounds. "REMUS!" she shouted, her voice cracking as her dry throat gave a nasty twinge of resistance to her raised volume. She ignored it, and shouted again. "Remus! REMUS!"

He was there. Dolohov was still alive, his eyes wild and dark with hatred and entertainment, as though the word "_Crucio_" passing his lips was the most delightful thing in the world. Tonks watched Remus fall in agony to the ground, his mouth clenched shut, silent, his eyes watering with the pain.

"_Impedimenta_!" Tonks cried, thrusting her wand toward Dolohov. She barely watched the man fall as she hurried to her husband's side. "Remus!" she gasped. "Remus, you're okay! Oh, Remus, I was so worried!" She flung her arms around his neck as he wheezed, recovering from the pain of the recent curse.

"Nymphadora," he sighed airily into her ear. She slid her fingers into his pale, thin hair. It was still soft, even though there were streaks of blood marring it. She inhaled deeply with her mouth slightly open, tasting the smell of his perfection. He placed a hand on the small of her back and held her to him in a one-armed embrace. His other arm lay still beside him, probably broken. "'Dora," he breathed suddenly, pushing her away. "What are you doing here?" His face brusquely contorted into an expression of worry and anger. "Why have you left Teddy?"

"He's at my mothers," Tonks explained, raising her voice over a recent explosion of spells and screams. "He's safe."

"But you're not!" Remus cried. "Get out of here!"

"If you expect—" she began, outraged, but he suddenly flung a hand to her head and forced her violently to the ground. An eruption of green sparks flew over their heads, missing her hair by inches. As he let her up again, panting, she shook her head determinedly at him. "Look, Remus, now's not the time for this. I'm here, so now let's just get through this, alright?" She stared him straight in the eye. "I love you," she told him firmly.

Her heart was expanding, feeling all the love she had inside of her overflow as he reached forward and kissed her roughly, quickly, so that when their lips parted, she felt unsatisfied and longed passionately for more. There was no time for that, though.

"I love you, too, 'Dora. I always will—forever." She felt her eyes tear, but even as they did so, he leapt to his feet. She followed suit, directing her gaze toward the castle. "They've permeated the castle," Remus stated anxiously. "We'd better hurry." He started off, and she followed him. They ran quickly, both of them wincing as they trod on sore feet. Tonks forced down sick that built in her throat at the sight of a tiny boy—no older than Harry, or younger—whose body was crumpled and bloody.

Out of no where, it seemed, came the shout of "_Expelliarmus_" from behind them. Remus' wand flew out of his hand. Tonks scrambled to retrieve it, but quite suddenly there was a cry of "_Avada Kedavra_," and a jet of green light soared at her. It was too fast. She closed her eyes, waiting for it to come, waiting for her to stop. Images of Teddy's tiny, beaming face crossed her memory once more, and that was when she heard the body fall. It was not her own. Horror flooded her, and she clutched Remus' wand tightly in her hand with hers. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

The sight seemed impossible. She was certainly having a nightmare. This was certainly not true. The hot air was suffocating her. She could not breathe. Her blood seemed to have halted in its tracks, and she could feel herself dying. She felt her heart pounding on, but she knew she was dead. The thudding in her chest reverberated painfully in her ears, blocking out all other sound. She didn't hear the screams surrounding her, or the cackle of victory that Dolohov emitted from several yards away. All she knew, at that moment, was the beautiful nobility that had not left Remus' lifeless face. He was staring up at her, his loving eyes boring into her tear-filled ones, not seeing her. She began to sob, then. All sense left her, and she dropped their wands to fling her arms over Remus' chest and sob into his faded robes. No calming pulse was beating beneath her ear as she listened hard for it. No breath hit her face as she moved up his body to kiss his still warm lips again.

Tears poured down her shocked face even as she heard her aunt's high-pitched scream of delight, and felt the tip of Bellatrix's wand at the back of her neck.


End file.
